The one thing I was most dreading about pregnancy was the comments from strangers...and some from people who are not strangers at all.
The very first comment from a stranger was about a month ago when I last traveled for work. It was a middle aged guy that was touring the plant with our group. We were looking at some airplane component. He leans over and says out of the corner of his mouth, "So, when are you due?" Pretty ballsy, dude. Pretty ballsy. I wasn't even 6 months at that point. I could've easily just been fat. He then proceeded to tell me about how uncomfortable his wife was during the end of her pregnancy. Apparently I looked uncomfortable. The flip flops must've given me away.
On that same trip, a bunch of people were waiting on an elevator. One came and filled up. Someone indicated that there were stairs right behind us. We all turn around to take the stairs (down two flights) and some lady looks at me and says, "You may not want to take the stairs." Huh? Are my legs broken? I said, "Oh no, down is not a problem. Once I get going, I have lots of momentum." She didn't seem to think it was nearly as funny as I did.
Last week I was on a pepperoni roll mission. In Meijer, they keep the pepperoni on the end of the freezer isle. They also keep the summer sausages on the end of the freezer isle and no matter what I'm looking for, I always turn up the wrong isle. So, of course, I turned up the summer sausage isle but quickly realized and put it in reverse. A Meijer employee was stocking the freezer nearby and saw my maneuver. I sort of smiled at him and he says, "Yeah, the ice cream is up the next isle. That's what you're looking for, right?" Now, why would he assume I'm looking for ice cream? Unbelievable! I said, "No. Pepperoni." and just walked away. I have also had Meijer employees yell, "Ooooooooooh! What are you having?!" at me, attempt to guess what I'm having by intensely-- and I mean intensely, studying my stomach, and comment about the weight of the grocery bags-- "Let me know if any of these are too heavy for you." There's nothing you could put in a plastic grocery bag that could be too heavy for me. I'm not a delicate flower! I spend too much time in Meijer.
In JoAnn Fabric the other day, the cashier asked my due date. After I told her, she said, "Oh! You're gonna have a big 'un!" Um. WTF is that supposed to mean, Lady? A big 'un? I'm pretty sure she was saying that my stomach is quite large... except, it's not.
And the winner of stupid comments to date.... who else? Megaphone Man!
Me: Check out my ankles! Haha!
Megaphone Man: Those aren't ankles, those are cankles!
Me: Yeah, I know. Impressive, huh?
Megaphone Man: Your feet are plumped up like hot dogs in a microwave! I'm afraid they're about to split open!
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