Smiles

Last week, we were constantly saying,

"Is that a smile?
 Um....maybe?
 No, probably not."

It kind of reminded me of when I was trying to determine if I was feeling kicks or not.

And then something happened Friday night. Evan must've taken some kind of smile lessons overnight because he was all smiles all weekend long. They're still not totally on purpose but adorable nonetheless. Here are a few. Some aren't exactly smiles but are still so cute.

And, when he's looking up in the pictures, it's at the ceiling fan, his new BFF. Most of the smiles were actually for Mr. Fan, not for Mom or Dad.

(I love these new apps that I got for my phone to make the videos and the artsy looking pictures! It's what I do with my time during the middle of the night feedings to keep me from falling asleep and dropping Evan on the floor. It's called responsible parenting.)

One Month

Dear Evan,

What an interesting month this must've been for you. Every single thing in your world is new...and probably scary. Dad and I like to discuss how strange it must be to be half the size of your house cat and to live with a dog that's 7 times your size. It's a good thing people don't remember being a baby because that's terrifying!

You spent most of your first month being a Milk Monster and dozing. Lucky for us, you (so far) aren't a very cranky baby. It seems that you really only fuss when you're hungry and there's a simple solution to that. Thanks for being easy on us. Unfortunately, you're hungry all. the. time. Did I mention that we call you The Milk Monster?  There's a very good reason for that. Also, you've managed to spit up some of that milk on pretty much every surface in our house. Thanks for that.

You've gotten really good at holding your head up. We love to sit and watch you during tummy time or to hold you in a sitting position and see how well you can hold your head. We've called each other into the room quickly on many occasions just to see how great your holding your head up. It's amazing what simple things become totally awesome when a newborn is doing them.

You make lots of noises now. Sometimes you chirp and squeak like a bird. Sometimes you use your voice like you're saying "heh" (I think that's cooing?). Sometimes you sigh with contentment, which is so adorable. And let's not forget the grunting that sounds like an angry squirrel. When you make the squirrel noise, I want to put you out in the backyard with the other squirrels. I'm sorry, Squirrel Boy. I love you, but that squirrel noise makes me ca-razy.

You started losing your hair around mid-month. You're starting to look like figure 1 here. We've been working on combover tactics to hide your shame.

In the last week or so of the month, you started having more awake time. You're perfectly content sitting in your rocker and checking out the world around you. You've started focusing on things and (sometimes) turning your head toward noises. You enjoy laying on your activity mat and listening to the musical star while checking out the panda bear with the red shirt. Baby stuff is so weird. Pandas don't wear shirts and stars don't have faces, duh!

Your favorite face of month one is your "ooooooh" face. You pucker up your lips like you're going to whistle or say, "Oooooooh, that's a beautiful mountain! " or "Oooooooh, these jeans fit perfectly!" or "Oooooooh, this is delicious tiramisu!"  Okay, maybe those aren't things you'll ever say. Also, in the last couple days of the month, you've started to smile. There's no meaning behind it and it's probably just gas but it's still damn cute. We can't wait until you start smiling on purpose.

And you've grown. A lot! Today you weighed in at a whopping 10 lbs, 12 oz. You've gained 3 lbs and 5 oz since you were born. And, you're 22 inches long-- up an inch and a half in one month. At this rate, you'll be 6'2" and 123lbs by the time you're three! Geeze, I really hope this growth is not linear, 'cause that's kinda weird .  You've finally grown into (and out of!) some of your clothes now.

This month has been both impossibly long and unbelievably short. I can't wait to see what you learn in Month 2!

Love,

Mom

A Little Comfort

I hate myself for this:

Really, I just hate that I've given Grandpa Mike another grandkid to harass about the pacifier.

(Just kidding, Mike. Well, kinda. If you had moved out here and become our stay-at-home grandpa like you were supposed to, you could've prevented this.)

We were strongly against pacifiers but then we did some more research. There are lots of pros and cons which I won't get into. We noticed Evan really going at his hand/fingers/thumbs when he wanted to comfort suck. It was pretty obvious that he was going to suck on whatever was available to him. So, the biggest advantage to using a pacifier that we saw was that we can take it away. We can't cut his thumbs off. Well, we could but then we'd have to call him Johnny No Thumbs.

And, as a 5th grade thumb sucker myself, I thought maybe a pacifier was a wise decision. Someone should've made me Bonnie No Thumbs long before the 5th grade.

3 Weeks

Evan was three weeks old yesterday. He's had a lot of time out and about in his short lifetime.

We went to our work picnic when he was about a week and a half.  He got to meet lots of our work friends and some work acquaintances that just can't stay away from a baby. Luckily, most people weren't very touchy. I'm thinking it helps that we work with mostly men and mostly engineers.

The picnic was Hawaii themed so we couldn't resist getting a little festive. It was, after all, about as close as we're going to get to Hawaii for several years. And, one of the very few outfits that fits Evan has surfboards on it. We decided to commemorate the moment with a photo in the backyard when we got home. And now that I'm looking at that picture, I'm realizing why we don't wear our Hawaii themed clothes very often. Yikes!

Last week we made a trip to Cox Arboretum, which is one of my favorite places to wander around with the camera. He snoozed the whole time and I had a great time snapping pictures. It was a very successful first outing for the two of us.

This one escaped the Butterfly House.

He's also made trips to Meijer and the mall... which I didn't take pictures of. Come on, I'm not that crazy.


Last Sunday, he started what was apparently was a growth spurt. I prefer to call it A Special Kind of Hell for Momma. He was so cranky, not sleeping and eating constantly. It lasted three days but then he was back to normal.  He weighed in at 9lb, 6oz on Monday. He's probably about 20lbs today.

Buddha Baby

We've just started putting Evan in a bath rather than giving him a sponge bath. He's not a fan. I think it's because the little tub we have can only have a few inches of water in it. So, his butt is in the warm water, but that's about it which means the rest of him is cold. And babies don't like being cold.

Bathing by the dish soap...and that's a bag of flour by David's hand...
and there are probably dirty dishes in the sink under the tub.
We're classy.

After the bath, David holds his head (Evan's, not David's) over the sink while I use the sprayer to wet his hair. The warm water flowing over his head is the best thing in Evan's world. He closes his eyes and opens his mouth like he's saying, "Aaaaaaah" and enjoys the moment. I love that he loves it.

And then we put him in a sleeper for the night which is just about the cutest thing ever.


Snuggle Bug



2 Weeks

Evan had his two-week appointment this week. It was pretty uneventful. It sort of reminded me of all my prenatal appointments-- in and out pretty quickly.

He's doing really well. He's doing all the things two-week old babies are supposed to do-- eat, poop, sleep, look cute. Especially the looking cute-- he's really excelling at that one.

He weighed in at a whopping 8lbs, 8oz. He's up 1lb and 1oz from his birth weight and 1.5lb from his lowest. Yet, Tiny Boy is still not fitting into his newborn clothes.

He's already changed so much. It's pretty unbelievable.

Going Home

Throughout pregnancy, people told me over and over again,

"Don't get many newborn clothes. Most babies are bigger than that at birth."

"You probably won't even need newborn diapers."

And then there were the comments about how ginormous our baby must be (based solely on the size of my stomach-- thanks, people.) And the fact that we're not small people so there was a decent chance that we would actually have a big kid. So, we didn't buy a single newborn outfit. I got about 5 hand-me-down outfits and that's it.

The going home outfits that I bought for Evan were 0-3 months. He was, after all, 0 months old. When we were released from the hospital, I couldn't wait to put his brown puppy dog polo on him... so he could go home and meet his brown puppy dog, Laika. I started with the brown shorts. They were so big. Like, we could probably have fit two Evans in those shorts. They were longer than his legs. I was laughing so hard I was crying, I couldn't breathe, I was afraid I was going to pee my pants or tear out my stitches. It was good to laugh so hard after the stressful night. My gigantic baby was, in fact, so tiny. I finally settled on the striped t-shirt onesie, which was still so big but at least stayed on his little body.

We got home to find out that he was even too small for all his newborn outfits. Still, two weeks later, the only things that really fit are Gerber plain 0-3 month onesies and two outfits that I bought a couple days ago that are newborn size but are noticeably smaller than all the other newborn stuff.

First Car Ride

Visitors

Grandma Janet and Grandpa Mike were here when Evan came home. They decorated the house for his arrival and did some yard work for him. Oh wait, the yard work was for us-- thanks, guys. They didn't get to stay long, but we hope to see them again soon.

Proud Grandparents

Just for giggles, I thought this was funny. This must be Grandma Janet's signature baby photo. I can just imagine what she's thinking... "I'll just stand here and gaze lovingly at this baby until someone with a camera realizes how adorable we are..." Way to go, Mom!

 



2011: Grandma and Evan



2009: Grandma and Michaela



Grandma Barbi and Grandpa Ed visited to meet Evan the weekend after we came home. And Grandma Barbi got to come back a week later.

 

Proud Grandma (Ed must've lucked out of the photo shoot)

Our First Night

During our first night, we had a sitcom moment. It was about midnight and I was doing a diaper change. It ended up being a huge poo-splosion, then he peed on me, then he projectile vomited off the side of the changing pad, then I realized that his belly button was bleeding. Needless to say, I started to freak out. I yelled for David's help getting everything cleaned up. It was at this moment that we realized that we had gone through the first package of (newborn) diapers that the hospital sent us home with...and the second package wasn't newborn size. And, of all the diapers that I got at my showers-- not a single newborn diaper. And for our tiny baby, we needed newborn diapers.

I was crying. Evan was crying. There was poop, pee, puke and blood everywhere. I stood over him on the changing table, holding his diaper closed and trying to comfort him and myself while David ran to the grocery store at midnight for some diapers. Could we be more stereotypical?

Stereotypical New Parents (look how big that onesie is!)

I think we have things figured out a little better now. Kinda. Well, at least I don't cry over poo-splosions anymore. Except when they happen with the diaper off...when I'm holding him up by his ankles with his butt aimed directly at me...and he shoots me and the wall with it. Oh wait, that was laughing so hard I was crying.

Bilirubin

We spent about 46 hours in the hospital after Evan arrived. It was eventful. Sadly, in the grand scheme of things, it was no big deal. I can't imagine how terrible it would be to actually have a sick baby.

We planned on leaving after about 24 hours. We were all set to go but were just waiting on Evan to get his blood drawn for metabolic disorder testing and bilirubin. They finally came to take the blood and the bilirubin results came back in an hour. His levels put him in the 95th percentile. Not really something you want to excel at. Not only was he not allowed to leave that day, but the pediatrician wanted to start him on phototherapy overnight.

My brain knew that this was no big deal. That jaundice happens. And is easily fixed. That it was good that we caught it now and were starting the phototherapy to get his levels back to normal.

My heart, however, did not understand these things. My tiny baby had to lay on what was essentially the bottom of a baby-sized tanning bed. Naked except for a diaper and a blanket loosely draped over him. He had to wear "sunglasses" which he was very unhappy about. I couldn't pick him up except to feed him-- once every three hours and only for 30 minutes at a time. I was devastated.

I sat for hours with my finger in his mouth as a pacifier. I sobbed while watching him scream and cry. I eagerly awaited each three hour mark so I could give him some comfort while feeding him. I slept just a couple hours that night when I agreed to let the nurses take him to the nursery for a while. I was so happy when 6am rolled around and they came to retest his blood. That phlebotomist has probably never had a patient so happy to see her at 6am. A little over an hour later, his results came back and they were good enough for him to be released that day.

We had to feed, feed, feed and get him as much sunlight as possible. Our first two trips with our new baby were to the pediatrician and lab on Saturday and then to the hospital to get blood drawn again on Sunday. Sunday's results came back good though and there are no more concerns.

It was an emotionally rough couple of days but I know that it was really no big deal. This motherhood gig is going to be heartbreaking.





A Baby Story: Planning is Futile

I was scheduled to go to my last prenatal appointment on July 28-- just two days before my due date. The office called the week prior and asked to reschedule my appointment for the Monday of that week-- the 25th, at 2:00. When they took my blood pressure, I knew it wasn't good news. It was high again and even though my test results had come back fine from two weeks before, the doctor thought it was best to induce. As he put it, I was flirting with pre-eclampsia and I was over 39 weeks along, so what were we waiting for?

I had spent a lot of time making my birth plan as required by my hospital. One of my big concerns was that I did not want to be induced. I was willing to wait up to two weeks past my due date if it meant going into labor naturally. I did not want pitocin unless totally necessary. I wanted to attempt a natural delivery and I had heard too many horror stories about how pitocin makes labor so much harder. My doctor agreed to try more natural approaches to induction. Since my blood pressure wasn't insanely high and I didn't actually have pre-eclampsia, he was fine with taking it slow. We were scheduled to show up at the hospital at 7:15 Monday the 25th.

I didn't make it out of the examining room before the sobbing started. I could see my plans starting to crumble before my eyes. I wasn't quite ready to have a baby yet. I was frustrated, scared, stressed, happy, sad. You name it.

That gave us about 4 hours to get our affairs in order before our lives changed forever. I spent the afternoon finishing up things around the house and David mowed the lawn. We sent emails and instant messages and texts and made phone calls. We got Laika into the kennel for a few days. We spent our last moments together as childless people. I pretty much cried all afternoon.


The last picture before our world changes forever.

The Hospital
Monday, July 25, 2011

8:00pm: Admission paperwork finished and checked into hospital room. The nurse, Kristen, inserted an IV but assured me it was only fluids, not pitocin. I believe it was at that point that I officially couldn't go to the natural birth center. They don't allow IVs.

8:30pm: My midwife shows up, does a Foley catheterization and starts me on a low dose of pitocin. Pitocin was probably number 2 on my "Things I don't want" list. My midwife explained that they don't use it like they used to and she was only giving me a very small dose and just because she started it now doesn't mean she can't turn it off at any point. Fine. I had small and only slightly uncomfortable contractions all night. The overnight nurse, Tara, was super nice and I wished I had had her during one of the day shifts.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

5:00am: I've dilated to 3.5 cm. Tara turns the pitocin off and tells me to get some rest because it's going to be an exciting day. After the pitocin was turned off, progress halted.

9:30am: The next nurse, Linda, gets instructions to give me a dose of Cytotec, which I'm just now realizing might have been on my "Things I don't want" list if I had even known of its existence before that day. There are some pretty terrible studies out there about it. In any case, the first dose got me dilated to about 4 cm in 4 hours. Yes, a measly 0.5 cm.

1:30pm: Linda started dose number 2 of Cytotec. I sat on the birthing ball, visited with Mom and Mike, walked around the hospital for the next four hours. It was a long time in the hospital, but not particularly uncomfortable at this point.

5:30pm: Yet another dose of Cytotec. I was making no progress. I'm not totally sure why they kept giving me more if it wasn't working. I suppose it was because of my disinterest in pitocin. I appreciate that they were respecting my wishes.

9:30pm: The night nurse, Granny-- I can't even remember what her real name was because she wrote "Granny" on my board, suggested that breaking my water should be the next step. She was from the birth center and was fully on board with my going natural. I was super excited to have her with me overnight.

11:00pm: My midwife shows up to break my water. That was... an experience. Wow.

11:15pm: Active labor. I couldn't believe how quickly it came on, but was pretty glad that something had finally worked. I started trying different positions that Granny was suggesting. David was helping with massage. We had music going-- Pink Floyd. The tub was filling up.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

1:00am or sometime around then: I was measuring 7 cm dilated and got into the tub (and the "tub" was really a blow-up pool-- so no, I wasn't squeezing into the bathtub at this point.) The water felt great and for a moment, I was feeling significantly better. Granny was drinking coffee and I told David that we needed to tell my mom to bring me an Iced Capp from Tim Hortons when she came to the hospital to meet Evan. We decided that it was good that Tim Hortons is 24 hours because we were sure that I was having a baby before sun-up. It didn't take long for the hydrotherapy to be overridden by the pain.

3:30am: 4.5 hours in and I was getting to the end of my rope and I was stuck at 7cm. I asked for something to take the edge off. They gave me Nubain. A side effect of Nubain-- sedation. It was the scariest, worst thing ever. I did nothing but lay in the tub completely out of it. David was scared. I heard him ask, "Is she supposed to be like this?" The nurse reassured him that yes, it was fine. It was most certainly NOT fine. The contractions were not dulled. I could hear them talking and wanted to talk to them, to tell them that the pain was not any better. I wanted to respond to David's attempts to soothe me but I couldn't do anything.

5:00am: I was finally able to pull myself out if it enough to get some help out of the tub and to the bathroom. When I got back into the bed, I realized that they were about to give me another dose of the Nubain. I feel so lucky that I was lucid enough to stop them. It was at that point that I gave up on the natural childbirth and asked for the epidural.

6:00am: The anesthesiologist finally showed up and things started looking up. The epidural's effect was a little shocking. I mean, I knew what it did but to feel the numbness was a little crazy. After all this, I was still only dilated to 7. Between the lingering Nubain and the total relief from the epidural, I passed out for quite a while. I wish I could say that David got some rest during this time too, but I think he only got about 30 minutes. I kept hearing him and Melissa, the day nurse, chatting about me but I wasn't interested in waking up to join the fun.

9:00am: I woke up sometime a couple hours later. We pretty much spent the day lazing around. Not that I could do much more. I was dilated at 9.5 cm for most of the day. So close, yet not quite.

12:00pm: I insisted that David get some lunch... but bring it back to the room and don't dilly dally. Melissa showed up just after he left. I asked if there was something we could do to move this along. It was getting really annoying. She promised that she'd check me as soon as David got back and we'd do something so I could start pushing.

1:00pm: I started pushing. I couldn't feel a damn thing. We watched the clock, trying to determine good times for him to come. 2:07 on 7/27, perhaps? We joked that he must weigh 7lbs, 7oz but Melissa, who was looking at his (apparently) giant head, said no way he was that small. The midwife said that he must get it from me.

2:22pm: Evan Alexander was born.

Brand new babies are gross looking.

But they clean up okay.

He breastfed like a champ within 15 minutes of being born. The entire room cracked up when they put him on the scale and he was 7lbs, 7oz. I guess he's just a normal baby with a giant head.

Everything I planned for went out the window. David said he was proud of me for rolling with it. I'm proud of me too because I don't do well with changes in plans.

Some people really get stuck on the fact that they didn't get the labor/delivery that they hoped for. I thought I'd be one of those people-- hence all the planning. In the end though, I don't care. At all. Evan is so incredible and how he got here really doesn't matter.

Evan Alexander Schwartz

Born July 27, 2011

7lbs, 7oz; 20.5 inches

100% perfection